I’ve wanted to write a post like this while also wanting to avoid it forever.  Let’s talk about mental health for Programmers.  I’m going to share some things that help me cope in the hopes it will be useful to you or inspire you to find your own approach or technique.

Gonna pause here to attribute the hilarious featured image for this post.  It was NOT made by me, it was made by a friend who recently did their first film production programmer gig and wishes to remain anonymous.  They are an established live entertainment programmer/designer and I hooked them up with a commercial I couldn’t accept.  This drawing is their best attempt to describe how the long shoot day ended.  I might need this on a t-shirt.

We work in an intense environment for typically way too long each day with people who are so focused on the project that it’s easy to forget there is a world outside.  In addition, many of us are neurodivergent and/or found ourselves in entertainment to escape challenging lives.  This certainly is and was true for me.  So what do you do when the job that requires incredibly clear and quick thinking has you panicked to the point you can’t think at all?  Let me share with you a few things that work for me.

1. Therapy.  When I started in film, I experienced a pretty horrific surge in my anxiety.  I had had therapy before, and it had sort of worked for me, but nothing super helpful.  But this time, I had a mission.  I understand no therapist can take anxiety away.  So I wanted more emotional tools.  I did the work for about six months and it was successful.  (The rest of this list and post will include things from this work.)  This recent project has been a real challenge and has spiked a lot of issues, so I think I’ll develop a policy of going back into therapy on projects that are with a new team.  Because honestly, new people scare me senseless.
2. Home.  My life is centered around my spouse and child— entirely.  Even though I spend hours, days or months away from them at a time, I keep them topmost in my thoughts every day.  I tell little stories about them to anyone who will listen.  When I go home at night, I try to limit talking about my day to around ten minutes so I can be present with them.  This is both possibly my best relationship advice, but also a key coping skill.  Work is an interruption to my real life, which is my family.  And that keeps it in perspective.
3. Music.  I’ve always had a deep connection to music.  Mostly dance or fairly angry music.  But there is some mellow stuff I also connect with.  One of my favorite songs is “Something in the Way She Moves” by James Taylor.  The particular song isn’t important- find a peaceful song you connect with.  You know when you have a good evening and you’re home and cozy and feel everything is awesome or at least ok?  I make sure I play that song a few times on those nights.  Why?  So when I’m under extreme stress, I can close my eyes for a minute and start playing the song again in my head and recall that feeling.  It brings me back to that place, that time, and the belief in my wellbeing.  The anxiety isn’t real in my head.  It’s largely made up.  (I’M FAILING!  I ACTUALLY SUCK AT THIS!  I’M NEVER GOING TO WORK AGAIN.  THIS NETWORK GLITCH IS GOING TO KILL ME.)  None of that is based in reality.  So why not flip the perspective and see what a sense of peace can do for you?  Because I always think better when I’m calm.
4. Perspective/Interactions. I’m fairly introverted, so being on set around so many people is draining.  The project I’m on now is done on stages, so we’re locked up in a windowless room.  For these reasons, I don’t bother to go to catering to get lunch.  I go for a walk alone.  Not hearing voices for 30 minutes and being in a radically different environment (currently, the Pacific Northwest) does great things for me.  It reminds me there is a world that has nothing to do with this project and gives me a social rest as well.
5. Get Out of your Head.  We’re a thinking profession, bphout it’s possible to spend too much time in your head.  Right after I started in film, I started doing yoga several times a week and now I pretty much do it every day before I head in.  The stretching/strengthening aspect is perfect for a stressful seated profession and taking time to do something physical gives me a respite from endlessly overthinking.  This really pays dividends when your mind is telling you that you are in danger for your life because all of your wireless system just went down and you take a moment to be present in your body instead of just your problem.
6. Alone.  This one is directly related to my autism.  I struggle with being observed.  I’m happiest when my cart is somewhere no one else can see me and I’m able to program without having to talk very much at all.  This almost never happens.  So I make a point to wake up about two hours (I know— sleep) before I have to be at work so I can start my day in silence and alone to recharge that part of my battery.  It’s made a tremendous difference in my life.
7. Embrace the Ridiculous.  Often I will bring in little Console Mascots that are characters I find delightful to remind me of the power of whimsy.  One of my favorite things is my Beaker (from the Muppets) Lego figure.  He looks even more panicked than I feel, and that for some reason helps me calm down.
8. None of This Matters.  Even though I understand that art can save lives, it is also equally true that this is the silliest way to earn a living.  We spend incredible amounts of time and resources pretending things into existence.  I’ve been on shoots where we lost the generator and the cameras kept rolling.  Why?  None of that footage is usable.  So maybe the challenge of programming has never been a life or death situation, but is just a bunch of nerds shaping light for a bunch of other nerds to capture with a camera.  And while it’s important to do that to the best of your ability, it’s not important enough to panic about.
9. Text a Friend/Loved One.  I keep several chats going every day on set where I will share my day to other programmer friends.  It helps to have supportive friends who understand what you’re up against.  They will help me find solutions when there are problems to solve and they can share sympathy (and hopefully make me laugh) when the day is just something to get through.

Please notice that the first thing I pointed out is therapy.  This article could never be a drop in the bucket of well-being that therapy can be for you.  So please reach out for help.  No one can do this alone.  

Hopefully one or two of these tips will be of use to you.  It’s taken me a lot of time and living to come up with this many coping techniques.  If my answers don’t work for you, don’t be discouraged.  Try to find your own and know that the struggle is worth it.

***

Mark LaPierre is a programmer in film, television and theater based out of Albuquerque.  He grew up in live entertainment and has been a designer/programmer for musicals, concert dance, live music, circus and corporate.  Mark is a proud member of IATSE Local 28 and 480, an ETC Eos trainer and an enthusiastic trainer of many other platforms and subjects.  He offers remote console coaching in 30 minute to 4 hour times as well as a full range of training in person.  If you enjoy his content, please consider commenting on his posts on the website to appease the Algorithm.